Somethin' is beepin', now what could it be?
Not a tricorder, we don't have TV
Maybe a comm badge—my God, can it be—
Is that noise comin' from me?

Now somethin's whisp'rin', and it says to me
"ASSIMILATION", and my eye's a TV
Why is this laser attached to my head?
I should have stayed in my bed.

My presbyopia ain't a problem no more
But the R–K technique they use involves a bore—I'm sore…
I've got these tubes plugged into my cranium
A catheter made out of carborundum
A leather jock strap, and suppositories
That'd bring King Kong to his knees…

Somethin' is beepin'—so now what is wrong?
Not a tricorder—we don't have cell phones
Wait just a minute, it's coming from me!
My heart has passed warranty

I've had it in me since I put up a fight
Three ugly big guys who'd not been laid that night—not happy…
  {Worf voice} "DID YOU GET ANY?"
  {Bart voice} "No, did you?
  {Worf voice} "NO—LET'S KILL SOMETHING…
It must have been one hell of a fight
Last thing that I saw was this long jagged knife
As it protruded from out of my chest—I wasn't feeling my best…

Damn, it's still beepin', and I'm tired of this
The Borg still want me—my ass they can kiss
I called the Klingon a big chickenshit…
  {Worf voice} "If you weren't who you were I'd kill you where you stand!!"
…I think I've finally lost it…

I took the queasy Klingon out for a walk
The two of us came back, but not Ensign Hawk—
  …Oh, well…
That Queen and Data seemed to make quite a pair
He has no melanin and she has no hair
Thank God for Data, or we'd all be machines
Wearin' those funny black jeans

Somethin' is beepin', now what could it be?
Not a tricorder, and we don't have TV
Maybe a comm badge—my God, can it be—
Is that noise coming from me?

Somethin' is beepin'… {borg} "you will be assimilated"
Somethin' is beepin'… {borg} "You Will Be Assimilated"
Somethin' is beepin'… {borg} "YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED"
Uh—does that mean no more Next Generation?
  {borg} "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE"
So is another sequel
  {borg} "A—oohh…NOT NICE…"